dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
only you would photoshop your dick
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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