i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
