I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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