He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I understand Curling. That high.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
