That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
