Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
