I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
