32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Mom said you looked used
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
