im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
