with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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