She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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