i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize