I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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