you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
