Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
