You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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