And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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