I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
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