ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
