There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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