Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
