we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
