He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
