Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
