do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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