Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
