So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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