Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
