I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
