i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
