I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
