We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
