Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
