there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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