i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
