Buhtt sex?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
