your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize