i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
