Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
