Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
