Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
