He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
