It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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