I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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