I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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