i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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