no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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