Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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