a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
