Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
