don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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