We're facebook friends in real life
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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