remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
