we have pet lesbian snakes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
