you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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