She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
