Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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