you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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