Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
