She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
