remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
