and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize