Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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